


End of May, Early June

by bethy_277



Series: The Depth of Despair and Back [2]
Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Crying, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Character Death, Not Happy, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 18:36:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17565842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bethy_277/pseuds/bethy_277
Summary: The immediate impact of Peter losing the most important person in his life and Tony trying to help.This is the second in the series- can be read alone but better to read first part to understand what happened.





	End of May, Early June

**Author's Note:**

> So I did indeed take that person away.  
> Seriously, when I started the other story- this is 100% not what I was planning on doing and then my brain just went haywire and I went with it.  
> This switches between Tony and Peter POV but it's clear when it switches.  
> I also could have written a whole lot more but figured I needed to stop while I was ahead. Some of what I was going to write here will show up in the next part of the series. 
> 
> Also, grief has many forms and I tried to show a different one here? I lost two people this past year- one very sudden and completely unexpected and the other one a little more expected. The grieving process for both was completely different for me and the one- we were able to smile through the tears and laugh about their memory within a few hours, and the other one was absolute heartbreak and still hurts as I am thinking of it and typing this. So Peter's initial smiling and joking was my experience with one of the losses. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing Marvel- nothing at all. Or the musical Dear Evan Hansen I think I should say too. I was listening to one of those songs when the title for this one-shot came to me.

“Peter!” The person with their arms around him shouted in his ear. Peter could hear screaming coming from somewhere as he stared at the blazing inferno of what used to be the warehouse. He struggled to fight off the strong arms.

“Pete.”

“Please! I have to get in there!” Peter abruptly realized that the screaming was coming from him. “Let me go! I have to save her! Please! Please!”

“Pete, you can’t.” The voice said, softer than before. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“No! No!” Peter screamed, and pushed against the unrelenting arms. He had ripped his mask off while running for the warehouse burn, and tears ran rampant down his face. As the arms held him and he watched the warehouse burn, he heard the sound of repulsors behind him and he jerked around. He finally realized that it was Steve who had caught up to him, and was holding him. The Ironman armor opened up and Tony stepped out. Peter noticed through the tears cascading down his cheeks that Tony looked exhausted and sad.

Tony took a step towards Peter who again tried to free himself from Steve’s grip, but his arms were ironclad and unmovable.

“Pete-“ Tony started and Peter shook his head.

“No! No!” He screamed. His throat hadn’t fully recovered from the screaming he had been doing during the hallucinations and his voice was growing hoarse. His throat felt like it was on fire. His head was spinning both from the hit he had taken in the explosion and the shock of what was happening. In addition to the head and throat, his eyes were burning from a mix of smoke and tears.

“Pete, I’m so sorry.” Tony said. He was directly in front of Peter now, and he put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. He reached out his other hand to touch Peter’s cheek and Peter flinched away from the touch. Tony drew back his hand but kept his other hand on Peter’s shoulder as Peter looked around him to see the fire raging.

Steve’s arms were still wrapped around Peter’s chest, holding him in one place.

“She’s not gone! No- she can’t-“ Peter’s voice cracked as it finally gave way, and he couldn’t get out more than a whisper. His head throbbed even more painfully as the tears kept flowing. Tony had shifted away slightly, keeping his hand on Peter’s arm as he stood closer to Steve.

_She’s gone. She’s gone. My fault. I’m alone_

As Peter’s mind supplied him with these thoughts, he felt his knees buckle as he sagged. Three voices cried out and Steve kept him up, as he let his head drop down towards the ground, eyes finally dropping away from the fire.

He felt Steve lower them both carefully toward the ground until they were both sitting, Peter sagging into Steve’s chest, the soldiers’ arms loosening at the action. Tony’s hand was completely gone from Peter’s arm and he wasn’t sure where the man had gone.

_Gone. Gone. Gone._

Peter kept his eyes on the ground- his vision switching between being blurry and then clear- until someone put their fingers under his chin, forcing his head up. His eyes came up and blinking to clear his blurry eyes, he could see Tony’s face.

Peter looked at Tony, knowing he had had asked a question by the way his lips moved, but the words not permeating through his pounding head. The only thoughts running through his brain were the ones reminding him that May was gone, and it was his fault.

Tony looked at him for a few more seconds before he disappeared from Peter’s view.

_Gone. Gone. Gone. My fault._

Peter was aware that the three men were talking around him but once Tony had removed his hand, Peter had let his head fall back down until he was staring at the ground, staring at a blurry blade of grass. One of Steve’s arms had disappeared from his chest so Peter was just lying limply against Steve, one arm grounding him. The longer he sat, the more his head was pounding. The sound of the conversations happening above his head, fading in and out and he was only catching snippets.

“Definitely inside.”

“How-happened”

“Defeated”

“Last-Guardian.”

“Other’s coming.”

“911 called.”

“Scott- Nat”

“Tower or Compound.”

“Pepper.”

As the words continued, Peter continued to stare at the blades of grass. He had stopped crying but he felt beyond drained. His eyes burned and he closed them, trying to ignore the mantra running through his head. He kept his eyes closed, unsure of how much time had passed, until he sensed someone kneeling in front of him. The person put their fingers under his chin again, and he opened his eyes to see Tony there again, still armorless. Tony looked at him for a few moments before speaking again. Tony shook his shoulder a little and Peter’s head cleared minutely. He could hear Tony’s voice but couldn’t distinguish actual words.

Tony reached out again to touch Peter’s face with his free hand and this time Peter didn’t flinch away. He felt Tony move his hand up and down his cheek a few times before pulling away. Before he could stop himself, Peter let out a whine at the sudden loss of warmth. Tony’s eyebrows raised in surprise but he rested his hand back on Peter’s face.

The roaring in Peter’s ears was starting to lesson, and he could hear Tony’s voice. He was talking to Steve and Thor who Peter realized must have been behind him. Although his eyes weren’t on Peter, his hand remained.

“Shock- must be. We’ll head back to the Tower. Pep said it’s been cleaned up. The kids’ friends are there.”

“Tony?” Peter whispered hoarsely and Tony’s gaze flickered back to him.

“Hey Pete, you back with us?”

Peter hadn’t actually really been gone but his throat hurt too much to try to explain so he just nodded.

“We’re going to go back to the tower, okay? The police is on their way but we want to get you away from here. Sam, Thor, Clint and Nat are here and they are going to stay. Bruce flew the jet here so we’re going to go with him and Scott. Can you stand up? Steve can carry you otherwise.”

Peter nodded and Steve’s arm over his chest fell away. He put his hands down to push himself up and stood up. Once he was on his feet, his vision swam and his knees buckled again. Strong hands grabbed his shoulders, keeping him up.

“Maybe you should let Steve carry you Pete.” Tony suggested and Peter shook his head slightly.

“I got this.” He whispered. Peter let Steve hold him up for a few moments before his vision cleared and then he stepped away. Tony looked at him for a few moments and then nodded. Steve started walking and Peter went to follow him.

The next moment saw Tony’s arm slung around his shoulder as they walked. “Pete, it’s going to be okay.”

Peter just nodded but knowing deep down that nothing would be okay. He walked with Steve and Tony for a few moments before they reached the jet Bruce had landed in the field. Peter could see Scott standing by the ramp looking sad. He saw them approaching and walked over to Peter who pulled away from Tony.

Scott placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder gently. “I am sorry kid.”

If Peter could physically cry anymore, he knew the tears would be flowing. His head hurt, his chest hurt and his eyes hurt.

“Can we just go?” He whispered and Scott turned back to the jet entrance.

Tony came up behind Peter and put his hand on Peter’s back as they both headed up the ramp. As they climbed up, Peter felt his legs buckle again with another head rush and he all but fell into the nearest seat he saw. Tony sat next to him, the others all spread about. He saw the ramp go up and then the jet lifting as Bruce put them in the air.

“Where’s your suit?” Peter whispered noticing that Tony still wasn’t wearing it, and it wasn’t in the quinjet.

“Sent it back to the tower by itself.” Tony replied. He had put his hand on Peter’s arm and Peter relished the warmth. He had started to feel cold on the walk back to the jet and was now starting to shiver. Tony had noticed and Peter saw him reach over and pull a blanket out of a compartment which he handed to Peter. Peter wrapped himself up in it and leaned back, closing his aching and puffy eyes. When he opened them again a few moments later, Tony was still looking at him.

“What’s going to happen?” He whispered. He knew he was an orphan again and knew it was only a matter of time before he would have to leave.

“We’re going back to the Tower and everyone is going to get some well needed rest.” Tony replied.

“I meant with me? They’ll put me in the system. I’m not old enough yet.” Peter whispered, the thought making him choke up a little. Tony’s arm which had been dislodged when Peter put on the blanket was on Peter’s knee now as he looking at Peter, a serious expression on his face.

“No Pete, we’ll figure something out.”

Peter nodded but didn’t believe what Tony was saying. There wasn’t anyone there for him, not really. He closed his eyes as a tremor ran through him.

“JARVIS, raise Peter’s heater in his suit.”

Peter heard Tony say and the next moment warmth enveloped his whole body, his head being excluded as he realized he didn’t know where the mask was. Not that it mattered anymore, he couldn’t be Spiderman in a foster family. As that thought crossed his mind, he found himself questioning whether he even wanted to be Spiderman anymore.

\---

Tony found himself at the boy whose knee his hand was resting on. He could hardly believe what the last 48 hours had brought, and now May Parker was gone. He had conversed with the woman frequently over both Peter and other various topics. She had cared like a lioness for Peter and trusted Peter to him to protect him while he was spidermanning.

He was staring at Peter close enough to realize when the boys’ breathing deepened and he fell asleep. His head dipped to one side and Tony carefully put his hand on Peter’s face and moved his head so Peter was leaning on his shoulder. He moved the hand to where Peter’s arm was under the blanket, rubbing it up and down on the boy’s arm.

“Hey.” Tony looked up to see Steve approaching.

“Hey.”

“How’s he doing?” Steve nodded towards Peter as he sat down opposite Tony.

“Well he’s asleep now but he’s definitely in shock.” Tony replied. He had been genuinely bothered when Peter had completely shut down in the field and when he had jerked away from Tony’s touch. The kids’ breathing had not been steady after the fire but now his chest was falling and rising steadily in sleep.

“What are we going to do?” Steve asked.

Tony looked at Steve’s face to see his tired and sad eyes. “Tony, there’s going to be questions and repercussions for what happened.”

“He’s my main focus right now.” Tony nodded towards Peter. Tony knew Steve was right but he simply couldn’t worry about that at the moment. He had to focus on the teenager who had just lost his aunt in the most awful way.

“He doesn’t have anyone else right?” Steve asked.

“He has us!” Tony snapped.

“I meant immediate family Tony.” Steve responded and Tony sighed. He ran his free hand through his hair, a thought running through him as he knew what he had to do.

“What are we going to do?” Steve asked again.

“I’m going to put in for guardianship. As soon as we land- I’m calling my lawyers.” He stated, seeing Steve start to smile.

“What?” He asked.

“If you hadn’t said that, I would have. I’m sure everyone else would have as well.” Steve replied.

Tony didn’t say anything for a few moments, looking at the sleeping teen before looking back at Steve.

“Kid’s lost more than his fair share.” He stated and Steve nodded.

“We’ll get him through it.” Steve said and the two men lapsed into silence. Tony was aware of Bruce and Scott at the cockpit keeping their distance but sending concerned looks their way every so often.

“How are you after that building collapse?” Tony asked Steve. The cut on Steve’s head had stopped bleeding and now there was just dark red staining his face.

“I’m fine. It’s healing. He hit his head too.” Steve replied, motioning to Peter’s slack face.

“JARVIS- how is Peter’s head injury?” Tony asked the AI that was engrained in the jet.

“He has a concussion but it is healing and will be fully healed very shortly. The bruising on his shoulders is fading as well.” JARVIS replied.

“He was aiming to kill us. Sam and Scott too. I don’t think it caused as much damage as the senator had intended.” Steve said.

 Tony kept his eyes on Peter and before long, they were landing at the Tower.

“Can you carry him to his room? I don’t want to wake him up” Tony asked Steve pulling his hands away from the sleeping boy. The soldier nodded before standing up and carefully pulling Peter into his arms, blanket and all. Peter let out a small noise but Tony reached up and touched his cheek and Peter settled down.

“His friends are in his room.” Pepper’s voice caused Tony to snap his head up. Steve nodded and walked past Tony and then Pepper and into the tower with his sleeping bundle. Tony walked towards Pepper who held her arms out. He gratefully leaned into her, wrapping his own arms around her.

“You scared me.” Pepper said. Her voice sounded off and Tony pulled back to look at her face. Her eyes were rimmed with red and Tony knew it was for May. He knew they had gotten together weekly and that they were friends.

“I’m so sorry.” He said. Fresh tears spilled out of Pepper’s eyes and he reached up to wipe them away.

“Bruce called during the flight. How is he?” She asked.

“In shock. Asked me what was going to happen to him. Steve asked me too. Pep, I’m going to talk to the lawyers and apply for guardianship.” Tony replied and Pepper smiled slightly.

“I already did. Called your lawyers as soon as Bruce called me. They are working on the papers now.” Pepper said and Tony looked at her.

“You never cease to surprise me.” Tony replied.

“I know you. You love that kid and would never let him leave you if you could help it. We owe May.”

Tony wrapped his arms around Pepper’s waist as they exited the jet- everyone having already gone inside. They made their way over to one of the living room areas. The space was normally occupied by furniture but now only one couch was there which is where Tony and Pepper went to sit on.

“This floor was damaged. I ordered more furniture but it hasn’t arrived yet.” Pepper said. Tony reached over to kiss her forehead.

“I can’t believe what happened.” Pepper said, her voice wobbling. “Did she- did she suffer?”

“The explosion was pretty severe. It would have been almost instant.” Tony replied.

“Poor May. Poor Peter.” Pepper replied. “He’s going to blame himself.”

“He is.” Tony agreed. “But we’re going to remind him that it wasn’t. Hey JARVIS, where are Peter and Steve?”

“Peter is currently sleeping in his room. His friends, Ned and MJ are with him. Captain Rogers is on his way to you now.” JARVIS replied and as if on cue, the elevator opened and Steve stepped out.

“Hey.” Tony said as he walked towards them.

“He’s okay. His friends said they aren’t leaving him.” Steve said. “Bruce and Scott were talking about going over to May’s apartment to get Peter’s things to bring them here. I’m going to go with them.” Steve said. “I grabbed these keys from Peter’s desk, are these to the apartment?”

Tony nodded as he saw the keys Steve was holding. “It’s the bronze key. Leave May’s things for now- we’ll go back again to sort that all out.”

“We’ll be back later.” Steve said as he headed to the elevator.

“Grab some food on your way back.” Tony called out after him and Steve nodded.

“You need to shower. You smell.” Pepper commented.

“Way to wound a mans’ ego.” Tony said and Pepper scoffed.

“Oh please.”

“Let’s check on Pete when we get up there.” Tony said as they headed to the elevator. Peter’s room at the Tower was on the same floor as Tony’s and he found himself extra grateful for that now.

When the elevator opened at their floor, he and Pepper headed for the shut door down the hallway. Tony opened it slowly and smiled at the scene. Peter was lying asleep on the floor wrapped in the blanket from the jet with a pillow under his head. Ned was on one side, one leg lying over Peter’s while MJ was on the other side, one of her arms lying over Peter’s chest. They had been talking quietly to one another but looked up when Tony opened the door and he saw the tears on their faces.

“Let me know if you or he need anything?” Tony asked quietly and they both nodded. Tony shut the door softly and he and Pepper headed to their room.

“I’ll be here.” Pepper said lying on the bed and pulling out a tablet. Tony nodded, heading towards the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. He took his clothes off and got into the shower, allowing the water to cascade over him while he stood with his eyes closed.

He must have been in the shower longer than he thought because soon Pepper started knocking on the door and calling his name. He jumped out, wrapping a towel around his middle and opened the door. Pepper was standing in the middle of the room.

“Mike just called. He’s faxing the guardianship papers over. You just have to sign and send them back and he’ll get them approved.” She said.

“This is why I pay him the big bucks.” Tony replied.

\--

Peter opened his eyes to someone shaking him gently. He was in his bed at the tower with no recollection as to how he had gotten there.

“Hey Pete.” He looked over to see Tony standing by the edge of the bed, having been the one shaking Peter awake.

“How did I get here?” He asked Tony.

“Steve carried you. You were on the floor initially but he put you on the bed a little while ago. Don’t be embarrassed.” Tony said as Peter felt his cheeks start to get warm. “Ned and MJ were here earlier but they had to head home a few hours ago.”

Peter nodded and he sat himself up, leaning against the headboard. His head felt heavy and stuffy, with his eyes feeling heavy and wanting to close. He let them start to close and felt Tony shake him again.

“No, stay awake Bud.” Peter pulled his eyes open again.

“So we need to talk.” Tony started and Peter’s heart plummeted.

“I’m leaving?” He whispered. His throat certainly felt better than before but it still hurt.

“What? No kid.” Tony responded quickly. He moved away from the side of the bed to come around to the other side, climbing on so he was on the other side of Peter.

“I’m not leaving?” Peter asked, turning his head to look at Tony.

“No kid. That’s what I want to talk to you about.” Tony said. “I signed guardianship papers Pete. You’re mine now and I will never replace May or Ben, or even your parents but you’re staying with us Pete. Steve was ready to sign the papers if I didn’t, and the others were likely behind us.”

Peter couldn’t respond even if he wanted to. The pain was steadily increasing in his chest as he thought about May. It must have shown on his face because Tony suddenly stopped talking.

“Unless you don’t want that Pete.” Tony backtracked quickly. “If you want someone else to be your guardian or if you don’t want any one of us to be your guardian, then that would be okay too. We could make it work.”

Peter shook his head. “It’s not that.” He choked out.  Peter didn’t deserve this.

“What is it?” Peter had never heard Tony speak to softly.

“I want to stay here. I want you to be my guardian. But-“ Peter broke off as he choked up again. He was the reason May was dead.

“But what Pete?”

“I’m the reason May’s dead!” Peter blurted out.

“No you aren’t!” Tony replied.

“I am! If I wasn’t Spiderman, she would never have been taken. I don’t deserve this.” Peter cried and once again, the tears spilled over, rolling down his cheeks as the sobs began to escape from his mouth. He covered his face with his hands, unable to look at Tony.

“Kid.” Tony reached out and pulled Peter into his arms. Peter put his head on Tony’s chest, hands still covering his face as Tony put his arms around him.

“Listen-“ Tony started then paused. “Are you listening?” Peter nodded.

“What happened to your aunt was not your fault. You didn’t unmask yourself and put your aunt in danger. You didn’t ask for this when you were bitten by that spider. You’ve had a tough time Pete but none of this is your fault. I know your aunt would agree.”

“But she isn’t here. She’s dead.” Peter burst out, another sob and set of tears escaping. He knew he was getting Tony’s shirt wet despite covering his eyes.

“Pete, your aunt wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for something beyond your control. The people who attacked us are the ones at fault. No one else. Let me hear you agree with me.”

Peter could feel his resolve beginning to weaken. He knew deep down it was still his fault but he also knew May wouldn’t let him blame himself. He went to sit back away from Tony but his arms held tight. 

“Nope, not until I hear you agree with me.”

“Okay.” Peter replied, voice muffled as the tears started to slow down. Tony nodded and dropped his arms so Peter could sit up properly.

“I know you’re hurting and the pain is strong and raw right now but we are all here bud. All the Avengers.” Tony said and Peter nodded. Tony slid off the bed and clapped his hands.  “Now, do you feel like company?”

Peter nodded and Tony smiled. “The others all want to see you. It’s past breakfast but there’s waffles still.”

“Who cooked?” Peter asked. Tony’s talk had helped and for now the pain had lessened slightly.

“I hope that wasn’t a dig at me.” Tony replied. “You burn the kitchen down one time…”

“Twice.” Peter corrected.

“Twice and no one lets it go.” Tony grumbled as he went to leave the room. “Sam cooked. And take a shower.”

Peter found himself smiling slightly as Tony left the room, a complete turnaround from the 5 minutes prior. His stomach grumbled, reminding him of his hunger and he jumped into the shower and back out in 10 minutes. He opened the drawers grabbing the first clothes he could find before heading into the hallway and to the elevator. The main dining area and kitchen were two floors below. Peter exited the elevator onto the correct floor and saw that everyone was there, including Pepper and Happy.

Steve and Sam were standing in the kitchen while Thor, Pepper, Tony and Happy sat at the table. Peter could see Clint and Scott with controllers for the wii, and Bruce and Natasha sat watching them on the couches. Steve was the first one to see Peter and he came over, clapping him on the shoulder.

“How are you feeling?” Peter shrugged- the good feeling from talking to Tony completely gone. He knew logically that it wasn’t any of the Avengers and the others’ faults but it was hard to see life going so easily after his aunt had died the night before.

"Hey Pete. There’s waffles in the microwave for you. Grab them and come join us.” Tony called. Peter nodded, stepping away from Steve as he went into the kitchen. He could tell Sam was watching him as he grabbed the waffles and went to sit at the table in the open chair between Tony and Pepper.

In a few moments he had been in the kitchen Peter’s appetite had completely disappeared and the waffles looked completely unappetizing. He picked up a fork and started prodding at them, not actually taking any bites. After a few moments of the prodding, Tony reached over and put his hand on Peters’ spare hand, causing Peter to look up at him.

“Hey, are you not hungry?” Tony asked and Peter shrugged.

“Do you want something else?” Peter shrugged again and Tony sighed. “You have to eat Pete. You know your metabolism is all funny.”

Peter stabbed a piece of waffle with his fork and put it in his mouth- it tasted like cardboard, but he swallowed it still.

Tony smiled encouragingly at him, and he stuck another piece in his mouth. He put the fork down and shoved the waffles away from him. “Pete-“ Tony tried again.

“I can’t-“ Peter whispered. How could he explain that he couldn’t eat because May couldn’t eat. If he told them that, they would force him to eat.

“It’s okay honey.” Pepper said softly. Peter could see Happy and Thor looking at him too and he felt his cheeks getting warm as he stared at the table. He missed the look that Tony and Pepper shared above his head.

“Hey Pete- you wanna come crush Scott with me?” Clint called from the couch and Peter nodded. He headed over to the wii and saw that Clint and Scott were bowling.

“He’s winning right now. I know we can tag him and beat him.” Clint handed the remote to Peter who swung his arm back and then released, managing to hit every pin and earning a strike.

“What?” Scott asked, completely dumbfounded while Clint cheered loudly.

“You are over the top.” Natasha informed Clint who scoffed. Peter handed the remote to Clint and sat down as he watched Scott take a turn and miss every single pin.

“I hate this game.” Scott grumbled and Clint laughed.

Peter didn’t even smile and Clint looked at him. He looked away as the pain rose in his chest once again. He watched Clint take his turn and then Scott went as Peter’s vision grew blurrier. He wasn’t aware that he was actually crying until Clint stepped in front of him and Natasha touched his arm. He looked at her and she touched his face.

Peter wiped his cheeks, feeling the wetness there and stood up. He wanted to get out of there, and he wanted out at that exact moment. He practically ran to the elevator, ignoring his name being called behind him. As he got in the elevator and waited for the doors to close, he kept his back to the rest of the floor occupants.

When the elevator opened again, he bolted to his room, shut the door and lay on the bed, letting the tears flow.

Only a few moments passed before he heard the door open, assuming it was Tony. The person shut his door behind them, coming to the bed and climbing on the other side but not saying anything. Peter turned his head and was surprised to see Clint.

“Clint?” He asked.

“That’s my name- don’t wear it out.” Clint joked but the smile faded when he saw Peter’s face.

“Pete- I know Tony talked to you earlier but he doesn’t have my magical ability to joke.” Clint paused to see if Peter would smile but Peter just looked at him.

“Listen, you’re allowed to be upset, scream, cry, everything but don’t run from us. We’ve all lost people in our lives- some more than others, but we all understand grief.”

“How am I supposed to act like everything is normal? She was all I had when Ben died, we had each other to lean on and make it through the day. And now she’s gone, and it’s my fault.” Peter burst out.

“Tony said you were blaming yourself but Peter, you are so far from blame here. And Pete, we may not be related to you by blood but we all love you like you are our own, even though Tony beat us all to the guardianship. When you lost your uncle, you took it day by day- that’s what you have to do here. It hasn’t even been a day yet Pete, give yourself some time.” Clint looked at Peter who nodded, swiping his hand across his face, swiping the tears.

“But Pete, you have to keep going on living okay? The world feels like it’s falling apart right now but you have to keep going. We’re here. We’ll all always be here.”

Peter pushed himself up at the end of Clint’s speech and threw his arms around him. Clint startled but then reciprocated the gesture. Peter moved away a few moments later and Clint went to move off the bed.

“Are you staying in here?” Clint asked and Peter nodded, putting his head back on the pillow. He had been awake for barely an hour and he was exhausted. “Come join us if you feel like it okay?” Peter nodded and he heard the door shut at Clint left.

\--

“He’s grieving Tony.” Pepper told Tony as they sat in the kitchen of the tower.

“I know. But it’s been 4 days and he’s hardly emerged from his room and I’m concerned. May’s funeral is in 2 hours and JARVIS says he’s still in bed. He’s been there for the last 14 hours.” Tony said.

“You’re worrying.”

“Of course I’m worried. He’s hardly spoken to me and he’s barely eaten which his metabolism can’t take. I’m failing him and I’m failing May, Pep.” Tony was really worried. The teenager had hardly left his room since the first day Tony had gotten him out for waffles. None of the others had been successful in getting him out either. Clint had told Tony he had tried to talk to Peter but after the initial talk, he had also been shot down.

“Sir, Peter is awake and in distress.” Jarvis announced.

“Go to him.” Pepper said lightly shoving Tony towards the elevator. He got up, and grabbed a banana as he headed to the elevator to head to Peter’s room. He hesitated at the door before opening it. Peter was lying down with his face down in the pillow but Tony could hear him crying. He sighed before he walked over to sit on the bed and put a hand lightly on Peter’s back. The boy didn’t flinch so Tony knew he had heard him coming.

“Peter?” He asked.

“Hey Tony.” Peter’s voice came out from the pillow.

“Can you sit up?” Tony asked and after a few moments Peter started shifting into a sitting position. Tony got a good look at his face, worried about how pale he looked with red, puffy eyes.

“Oh kid.” Tony sighed as the teenager rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t know if I can handle the funeral.” Peter confessed.

 “You don’t have to go if you don’t want kid.”

“What would you do?” Peter asked.

“When my parents died, I don’t remember much from that time but I do know I didn’t go. I wasn’t on great terms with my dad, but I did love my mom. I think you’d regret if you didn’t go but it is up to you.” Tony said.

“I think I should go.” Tony rubbed Peter’s back and then stood up.

“We’re going to leave in an hour. Eat this.” He tossed the banana to the teenager who caught it. “Do you want anything else?”

“Do you have pop-tarts?” Peter asked and Tony nodded.

“I know Pep got some recently. I’ll go heat them up for you.” Tony said as he went to leave the room.

“Thank you Tony.” Peter said.

“Of course Pete.”

“He okay?” Steve asked as Tony exited Peter’s room. He looked around to see Steve, Sam and Clint standing in the hallway all dressed in black suits.

“What are you doing here?” Tony asked.

“We wanted to check on the kid.” Clint replied.

“He’s okay. Decided to go to the funeral. Lets go downstairs.” Tony forced all the others towards the elevators to head back to the main kitchen.

“Hey boys.” Natasha said as they all exited the elevator. She was sitting by Pepper at the table. Tony headed towards the cupboards to pull out the poptarts and put them in the toaster.

“Who are you and what have you done with Tony?” Natasha asked and Tony turned to glare at her. “These are for Peter widow, back off.”

“Oh, is he going to eat?” Pepper asked.

Tony stuck the poparts in the toaster and walked back to Pepper. He picked up his coffee and waited for Peter to make an appearance.

It was another half hour before Peter came down to greet them. He had on his suit that Tony had gotten him minus the jacket, the shoes and tie in his hand. He had gelled down his curls though which Clint noticed.

“The curls! The curls have been restrained! Let them free Peter!”

“Ignore that idiot Pete. The pop-tarts are in the toaster.” Tony said and Peter turned around. He sat down at the table next to Tony and started to eat the pop tarts. Tony looked at Pepper over Peter’s head, smiling at the fact that Peter was eating.

“Pete, we’ll leave in 20 minutes, okay? You’ll come with Pepper, Steve and I.”

Peter nodded and 20 minutes later, Tony was driving them out of the tower and towards the funeral home. Peter had the tie tied, and the shoes and jacket on.

There hadn’t been a body to prepare for burial but Tony had organized a service for May’s friends. The home was 15 minutes from the Tower and Peter was quiet the whole time, despite Pepper, Steve and Tony trying to draw him into conversation.

They reached the funeral home and Tony swore. There were multiple reporters and photographers at the front.

“Hey Pete.” Tony called to the teen in the back. “There’s reporters here. Do you want sunglasses?” Peter nodded and Tony handed him back a pair, and then got out of the car. The other cars bringing the rest of the Avengers arrived and they all grouped around Tony.

As they walked towards the entrance, Peter hid his face in Tony’s side and Tony put his arm around Peter to help keep his face hidden. Steve and Natasha took the lead with Thor and Sam bringing up the rear to avoid the reporters despite their shouting and the cameras flashing.

 They managed to make it inside but Peter didn’t remove his face from Peter’s side. Tony could see some of May’s co-workers and also Ned and MJ with their parents. The two teenagers headed towards them stopping in front of Tony.

“Pete?” Ned called out softly. Peter lifted his head, saw the two of them and then buried his head back into Tony’s side.

“Tony.” Peter muttered and Tony looked down.

“Please, I want to go.”

“Are you sure?” He felt Peter tremble but nod his head.

“Change of plans, we’re leaving.” Tony announced to the group.

“Have him text us later.” MJ said as she and Ned backed away and headed back to their parents.

The group all turned back to go outside, Peter’s face pressed firmly into Tony’s side until they passed the reporters and got into the car. Steve climbed into the drivers seat and Pepper into the passenger seat while Tony climbed into the back with Peter.

Peter was trembling as Tony reached over to loosen Peter’s tie. Peter lifted his head to grab the tie with his own hands and throw it on the floor, before putting his head back down.

Pepper drove them back to the tower, Peter never letting go of Tony even when Steve parked the car.

“I can’t do this- I can’t do this.” Peter was muttering and Tony looked at Pepper. Both she and Steve turned around in their seats to face the back.

“Peter, you can’t do what?” Pepper asked.

“This. Saying goodbye. Losing May forever. Being the last Parker.” Peter said, never lifting his face.

“Oh Peter. You’re never really saying goodbye. She’s always going to be in your heart, even if she isn’t physically here. You’re never going to forget her honey. Do you want to go inside and get some hot chocolate?” Pepper said.

Peter shook his head. “I just want to go lie down.”

“Okay bud. We can do that.” Tony said. Tony, Pepper, Steve and Peter got out of the car and headed into the elevator. Steve got out at his floor and the other three headed up to their floor. Tony expected Peter to head to his room but instead he went and lay down on the couch in the living area stripping his suit jacket as he went. He turned his head to the back of the couch before looking at Tony.

“My suit.” He said.

“What about your suit Pete?” Tony asked.

“It’s in my room. I don’t want to be Spiderman anymore.” Peter put his head back down leaving a gaping Tony and Pepper looking at him.

Peter’s breathing evened out pretty quickly and Tony knew when he was truly asleep. He went over to the couch and gently pulled Peter’s shoes off before covering him with a blanket, the teenager never stirring. He brushed his hand across Peter’s head before turning away and walking into the kitchen with Pepper.

“JARVIS, tell the others to steer clear of this floor for now.” He instructed the AI.

“Thor, Mr Barton and Captain Rogers are on their way up already. I have instructed them to be quiet.” JARVIS replied and Tony sighed. Pepper wrapped her arms around him and they stayed that way until the elevator opened up and the three men came out. He broke away from Pepper and went to meet the men. He could see them all looking at the boy sleeping on the couch.

“Sit down.” Tony instructed. He went to sit down next to Peter, carefully lifting Peter’s head to set in his lap, the boys’ face turned into his stomach. He whimpered a little but settled when Tony put his hand on his head. He saw Pepper slip towards the elevator, holding up her phone and he nodded.

Steve sat down in the chair by the couch, Thor took the armchair and Clint sat on the floor. They sat in silence for a moment, Tony starting down at Peter.

“We failed him.” Steve said and Tony looked up. “We failed him. We failed to protect his aunt. We let the most important person in his life die.”

“This is on me. I let them unmask him and share it with the world.” Clint mumbled.

“Clint, you’re a moron.” Tony replied. “I told you that in anger and I also told you I was wrong. You and Widow saved Peter. Who knows what they would have done if they had gotten him?” Tony’s heart clenched as the words exited his mouth.

“We now have to avenge May Parkers’ death.” Thor stated.

“We don’t even know the main point of all of this.” Steve said. “They drew us all apart, attacked us all, let us go, attacked the tower and the compound, tried to take Peter, attacked us all again, tried to kill myself and Peter and then killed May Parker. What was it for?”

“Where even is the senator right now?” Clint asked.

Tony shook his head as he continued to look at the teenager asleep in his lap.  

“We’re going to figure that all out.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So there will be a third part to this series exploring both Peter's decision to stop being Spiderman, and also why this all happened. It won't be out for a bit though, as I need to write a whole bunch of it before I post anything. I didn't do that before, and I ended up with this. So, it won't be out for a bit. 
> 
> Also, there are people subscribed to me as a writer? I noticed the other day and wow- that is totally crazy to me! Hello to you all!
> 
> Let me know how you feel about this in the comments? I am all for constructive criticism.  
> Apologies for any errors. I handwrite these and then type them, and don't have a beta so I am sure I miss some errors.


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